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​Dear Women with Autism, Asperger Syndrome or any Hidden Challenge

2/12/2016

5 Comments

 
Picture
You know more than most, how rough life can be. You’ve likely heard heaps of tales putting you at the center of chaos. You don’t need one more story that puts a big stop sign in front of your potential or your future. Wash your hands of that nonsense and take a stand that sets you in the middle of possibility and triumph.
 
First and foremost, beyond all else, you are a woman. The so often quiet force that tempers the stress, stops the unjust and calms the shaking fears that can gobble up a family, a business, a community- the whole world.
 
Where does our strength come from? Do we realize how much we have? How empowered we are, even when we feel powerless?
 
Yes, we are women with challenges. Some have more challenges than others. Some live with challenges barely visible. Some struggle with challenges so great they take your breath away.
 
But still, no matter our firework filled days and our wide-awake nights, we are the gender that holds the stuff both big and the small, together. We are the movers behind the movements. We are the one group, history proclaims as the group who teaches, loves and helps those in need.
 
Don’t doubt that. Don’t accept the plaguing suspicions that yell “Not me. I’m not tough. I crumble. I cry. I can’t. I won’t. I don’t.” Trust me, those are nasty bugs that chomp on your sense of self. Oh, I know all about those icky bug bites. I’ve laid in bed days on end sinking into my sleep like a mamma bear who surrenders to the lushness of a long snooze in a quiet cave. But when I must, I do find the fortitude to face the tough stuff. It might take all of my might, tons of support from my supporters, and lots of studying how best I can interact with the world, but eventually I find the will to get together whatever needs getting together. Sure, while I’m at it, I may perseverate for too long. I might rub my hands until they ache. I’ll likely bite my lip and my nails. I’ll surely feel the belly ache that swirls when I’m stressed or confused, but when it’s all said and done, I will muster through. And then, I will look in the mirror and remind myself ~ I can. I do. I will. I did.
 
Life isn’t easy. Problems are rarely solved perfectly. Fun doesn’t come out to play everyday. Truth is, no one said things would be fair, but hey, that’s life and it’s yours for the taking and yours for the making.
 
You be you, the best you there is. Don’t be afraid to turn a blank stare and a hollow ear to those who would criticize you. Accept no judgment that doesn’t put you in the embrace of good. Turn the tables on the yucky and be true to your potential.
 
When you look in your mirror, let it bring a message of peace and acceptance. Accept your flaws and your “I can’t today” days. Respect your need for quiet or solitude or escape. Promise yourself you will love who you are, even if it feels like no one can give the same promise.
 
And remember… always remember… you are preciously made. You define who you are. You pave your own path. Whatever you do, do it as best you can. Wherever you go, go with dignity and kindness. Share what you hope others will share with you. Smile at the storms. Carry on. You’re worth a world of gold. Cherish you!
 

5 Comments
Kathy
2/15/2016 09:49:49 am

Hi,
I am 51 years old, newly diagnosed (3 days ago) with AS. I also have a 12 yo son, and have been a single parent for 12 years. Due to last 3-6 years of trauma, I am falling apart. Although i used to be very high-functioning and successful, my world is now falling apart. My parenting is slipping and i am reverting to negative behaviors. I am fearful of turning to medical community for official help because they seem inept, and i am terrified my ex will somehow discover and use diagnosis to further terrorize me, or worse steal my son. My ex has been terrorizing me for 6 years, the last 3 of which are too shocking to discuss.

I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I need to find real, not online, support. Anybody, Please.

Reply
Chris Marsh
2/15/2016 06:29:20 pm

If you do nothing, nothing will get better and X might get custody anyway.

Get treatment.

Chris
Aspie age 45

Reply
Liane Holliday Willey link
2/16/2016 02:45:33 pm

Dear Kathy, Please contact Oasis @ MAAP online at www.aspergersyndrome.org/ to find a wide list of resources you can contact in person. If you can't find any resources near you from this list, call your local autism support group (if you're in the US, every state should have one) and ask them for some referrals. It's important you make sure the person you make an appointment with, understands Asperger syndrome in adults, and hopefully AS in women. I'd also call an attorney in your area that specializes in women's issues. Explain the situation and see if they can refer an expert that works with women on the spectrum and child custody issues. This is becoming a broader area of interest, but you may not find someone in the field. Still, someone in a large law firm should have insight into who to refer you to. Long story short- you'll have to work a bit to get some suggestions from people in your area. If you are in the midwest, I may be able to help. Let me know. Do take care and don't stop inquiring until you find help.

Reply
samantha Craft link
5/30/2016 09:08:48 am

Love to connect I am @aspergersgirls on Twitter

Reply
Liane Willey link
5/30/2016 01:44:23 pm

Thanks, @aspergersgirls. You'd be a great help for Kathy!

Reply



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