At some time in our life, we all find ourselves knotted in sadness. Seems my last few blogs have been on this very subject. The holidays tend to bring out the not-so-smiley side of me. I'm beyond the middle of middle-aged trying to keep the bookends of my life from collapsing the time I have left. I have much I still want to do. I want to travel with my family to places we've only read about...watch my girls reach a few more of their goals...see future grandchildren become adults...ride my horses until they can no longer carry me...write really good fiction...run a silly 5K like the Zombie Run...have one thoroughly meaningful conversation with each of the friends who made me who I am.
I pray I will be granted the opportunity to keep these bookends neat and tidy until my life seems completely complete. Of course we all wish this sort of thing. Sadly, today is a not great day. It’s the kind that preaches reflection and invites melancholy. The video is my backyard. It was iced when I woke up. Gray by noon. Snowing soon after that. It’s beauty beguiling me even now that I’ve received the kind of news that makes it ever so harder to keep the bookends righted.
This week, a young man my family knew took his life. This week my dad's brother took a turn towards the end of his bookend. I’m struck with complex remorse. I see the pinnacles of an elderly man’s strength and love and honor fade away but leaving a long shadow we can find comfort in, juxtaposed against the tragic and senseless loss of a young person who never had the chance to become his own beacon of hope and wonder.
C’est la vie, as my father used to say to me. Such is life and you’d better get used to it because it isn’t about to change.
Yes, Dad. I hear you. I don’t want to, but I do. For a girl who hates change, I’d surely like to change the fact that sometimes the sky cries.
Related post: Change is Cruel
I pray I will be granted the opportunity to keep these bookends neat and tidy until my life seems completely complete. Of course we all wish this sort of thing. Sadly, today is a not great day. It’s the kind that preaches reflection and invites melancholy. The video is my backyard. It was iced when I woke up. Gray by noon. Snowing soon after that. It’s beauty beguiling me even now that I’ve received the kind of news that makes it ever so harder to keep the bookends righted.
This week, a young man my family knew took his life. This week my dad's brother took a turn towards the end of his bookend. I’m struck with complex remorse. I see the pinnacles of an elderly man’s strength and love and honor fade away but leaving a long shadow we can find comfort in, juxtaposed against the tragic and senseless loss of a young person who never had the chance to become his own beacon of hope and wonder.
C’est la vie, as my father used to say to me. Such is life and you’d better get used to it because it isn’t about to change.
Yes, Dad. I hear you. I don’t want to, but I do. For a girl who hates change, I’d surely like to change the fact that sometimes the sky cries.
Related post: Change is Cruel
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