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Disclosing Your Diagnosis

6/30/2014

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Picture
New discoveries are supposed to be like a nifty present that opens to reveal the coolest of the cool, but sometimes newness is difficult to interpret and difficult to handle. Lots of emotions mix and mash their pushes and pulls until we are left wondering if the discovery present should never have been opened at all. One of the most common questions people with new AS diagnoses ponder is: What’s the best way to tell people about my AS- a way to keep them from thinking I’m a ‘less than’ person, or an incapable person, or a person they should feel justified to avoid and ignore?  How sad and confounding we have to think along these lines, but in the history of the world of disclosure, we are like all the other groups who have had to come out, stand tall and say, “I’m of a different sort and here’s why…”  Think I’m being dramatic? Take a look at civil rights legislation and you’ll see it’s there to protect people like us.

So we come to the land of Irony when we find out who we are inside the neurosystem of our brain, so much so it can make it difficult to fully concentrate on how this new perception of who we are can help us build a stronger and more satisfying life. When I began explaining my AS to people 20 years ago, the reaction was never what I hoped it would be. From my perspective, I was trying to educate people about different brains, mine in particular, but also the autism brain in general. I was celebrating these differences while asking people to understand and support people like me, kind of like a non-native speaker might express herself to the new country she found herself in. I went full blast on the disclosure and in hindsight, perhaps I should have been more cautious and calculating about when, where, and to whom, I expressed my differences. 

The fact is autism spectrum disorders have a lousy press agent. After a few decades of learning this the not so easy way, my advice for disclosure is guarded. Go slow when you start opening the door to your challenges and differences. Think twice before you disclose to anyone. What and how you will explain is very different. For example, you probably don’t want to you're your employer about your specific challenges in the same way you explain yourself to your partner, parents or friends. Make a little plan for disclosure. Here are a few tips to get you started.

Script a few different ways to explain autism and see if a good friend can help you fine tune it to fit the neurotypical world’s expectations. But along the way stay true to you. Don’t do things that you now know with certainty, are things that can challenge your system too much, make you too nervous, complicate your life, too severely. 

Navigate the world with care. Not everyone will care who you are or what your challenges are; many will think you're filling up a void with nothing more than excuses. When you find someone starting to act oddly (different in any way) around you. Pull back and give them tinier doses of your discovery or give them no more at all until you have to or maybe even, never, unless you are good with the consequences that may come your way if a person hears too much.

Give yourself plenty of time to readjust to the information you will be finding, have found and will continue to discover. Take whatever you are learning and make it fit within your comfort zone. Ultimately, you are the person who has to make a unique set of coping strategies and learning supports that are designed just for you.

No matter which way you disclose or how much you tell, never forget you are different, not broken.  Able, not disabled.  Challenged in unique ways, but not forever deterred. You are you and you are wonderful!


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The Power of Volunteering

6/23/2014

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aspie.comGoose, my horse, being decorated at Horse Camp.














My horse Goose letting the area kids decorate him while they learn all about horses at Horse Camp!
Most every community in the world likely has a myriad of volunteer opportunities in any number of places. Equine therapy centers, animal rescue shelters, elderly home facilities, community gardens, museums, hospitals, and outdoor recreation spots are just a few of the sorts of places I have worked for during my time. I still help at several.  The feel of giving back is very rewarding in and of itself, but it is even more than that. Many in our community need and want a chance to get out among the public to enjoy hobbies, special interests and friendship, but sometimes it can be very difficult to find a friend, or get a job in the field of our special interest or our hobby. Volunteering in those areas can be the key that opens lots of doors with lots of welcome mats and loads of satisfying fun.

Volunteering is easy to find at public and privately funded facilities, but it also abounds in neighborhoods where others may need help with yard work, walking animals, watching homes and collecting mail for those going on vacation, shopping for groceries or picking up prescriptions.  Sometimes I used to just pick up trash in my neighborhood to keep the animals from grabbing hold of something that might hurt them. People don’t always have to be a part of your free labor. After all, sometimes it’s good to just do good things for the sake of doing good things!

If you are interested in sharing your time and energies (and perhaps your expertise!), do an online search for groups that take volunteers and talk to your local government agency or go straight to the group you think might want your help, to discuss your options.  Don’t volunteer on something like Craig’s List or put up signs on bulletin boards, etc. Sadly, predators find their way to these places too often and it is better to stay on the side of caution and work through and with someone in a position of trust and good intentions.  And never, ever forget to trust your gut…if you feel a volunteer opportunity is turning into a sort of slave labor arrangement or a dangerous situation, get out and alert the authorities or someone you trust.  Do your research- make sure the group is a legit group with a good ranking from an agency such as The Better Business Bureau (in the US) or Yelp. 

Staying safe, having fun and meeting new friends while enjoying something you like to do. That's the spirit of volunteering!


Aspie.com #Volunteer #Helpothers #Giveback



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No More Witch Hunting for Autistics

6/16/2014

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aspie.com
Don't let violence choose you!
Autism is the victim of today's witch-hunt. Makes me wonder if humanity has evolved at all. Will people always react with snap judgments and condemnation? Today it's autism, who will be burned at the stake next?  People with different colored eyes? 

Rant aside; there are some main truths to be found in this climate of unspeakable pain and devastation.

 1) The world needs to come to terms with mental illness, providing early education, life-long supports for those affected, and a community of compassion. 2) Despite many 'experts' claiming autism is a mental illness, it is a neurobiological developmental disorder. 
3) A course in research and statistics is in order for all. Point of fact, in populations as large as the autism and mental illness communities, there is no denying some individuals affected by one or the other or both, will commit a shocking crime, however (and this is a very important however) criminal justice research reports the odds are far higher that someone without these challenges will be the perpetrators of shocking crimes while people with an autistic spectrum disorder are more often the victims.

Let’s wrap our head around the fact the world can be very cruel to people who will take their inner confusion and rage in a myriad of ways from self-mutilation to an eating disorder to never leaving the couch to, horribly, killing. If we expect these horror stories to end, we need to do a much better job of being supportive and kind and helpful toward our fellow humans.


Aspie.com #dontbeavictim #violence #abuse 

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