Dear Mr. President, Please take this opportunity.
Email the White House with your thoughts at http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/submit-questions-and-comments
#aspiepride #autismisnotaninsult
Bullying comes in many forms. We tend to note the most obvious, thinking they are the most harmful and foul. Truth is, verbal abuse can stink just as mightily and leave scars just as deep. There are times when bystanders to bullying need to remain out of the fray. This is particularly true if the bully is more powerful than the bystander. In these scenarios it is more appropriate and safe to make an anonymous report to the police, human resources, an administrator or a media outlet. There is now a debacle involving a White House official's use of the word "aspergery" to describe the Prime Minister of Israel in a manner that insults. It is infuriating to think anyone, much less a powerful person on a world wide political stage would make an insinuation that people with AS are subpar people. I cannot remain anonymous about my feelings toward this situation. In my not so humble opinion...the White House official who used the word Asperger in a denigrating manner, shows grave disrespect for the community of people with autism spectrum disorders. As a person who has devoted my life to representing the rights of those with disabilities, I am absolutely astounded there has yet to be a formal apology by the White House. The comment reflects a gross violation of the ADA laws and civil rights. I'm embarrassed to be a citizen of a country that allows ANY powerful source to disparage any of its citizens, particularly those who face daily struggles few can relate to. Clearly the president of the US did not make the comment that vilified people with Asperger syndrome, however, he needs to help calm the tides of this storm. This is a perfect opportunity to educate the world about ASD in a way that is meaningful and helpful.
Dear Mr. President, Please take this opportunity. Email the White House with your thoughts at http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/submit-questions-and-comments #aspiepride #autismisnotaninsult
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![]() Loads of years ago I wrote the first edition of Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger’s Syndrome. Timing is everything, and at that time, there were few autobiographies on this end of the autism spectrum and even fewer written by females. We had Donna Williams and Temple Grandin as our wonderful mentors and role models writing their thoughts and sharing their experiences, and of course we had super groups of outstanding women who shared their lives through early social media outlets. On the heels of my daughter’s ASD diagnosis from the University of Kansas, I felt compelled to share my own struggles with Asperger syndrome. I wasn’t diagnosed at the time, but my daughter’s struggles resonated deeply with me and with my father. Her life was mirroring ours. With few resources to support a child with ASD in our area, we moved to a state that was more progressive in its attention toward ASD and a whole new life began for my daughter, my elderly father and myself. What started on the yellow brick road from Kansas, turned into a path of turns and steep hills and potholes and one-way streets with no end…until the world began to reach out and help people with mild autism. And then, we breathed more freely and walked more certainly. With help from others, we achieved the best we could and we are happy and glad for it. Lucky Not everyone is as fortunate as my family was; yet another reason why I write and speak on ASD. Everyone deserves every single bit of assistance they can get for whatever challenges they face. And yet, our community as a whole is still disconnected from minority groups, females, adults and the elderly, not to mention people in countries were individuals beyond the norm are too often ignored if not damned or locked away. As hard as it is to be diagnosed today, imagine how hard it was for adults to get diagnosed before Attwood, and Simon Baron-Cohen, Francesca Happe’, Uta Frith and Judith Gould, Fred Volkmar and Ami Klin, Brenda Smith-Myles and Cathy Pratt (and the list goes on…gosh, I hate leaving so many wonderful people out of this short post) came to the scene in the late 90’s. Rather than an ASD diagnosis, people like me were typically labeled with all sorts of things like anxiety disorder, depression, neurosis, psychosis or even dissociative disorder. Of course, we may have an ASD and one or more comorbid challenges, but the ASD was rarely recognized. My diagnosis was serendipitous. While at an ASA conference, I ran into Tony Attwood who was new in his position as our guardian saint and rather open to working with individuals on the spectrum when he was in the states. We struck up a forever friendship, he wrote the forward to Pretending, we do presentations together, and he officially diagnosed me as an adult with AS. I am one lucky, lucky lady. And I am struck with depression when I realize there remain so many who are struggling so hard, twenty years later. Pretending has a nice sales record and its second edition is now out. I put a lovely cover of my horse and I on the cover because horses are at the core of my day job and because they are my special interest. I hope this new edition, with a new forward by Attwood and expanded information by me, provides some hope and answers to people who are in our club and for people who are kind enough to help us. Sharing your diagnosis is big. I disclosed publically. It began organically and simply as a result of my wanting to share the struggles and dreams I had on behalf of my daughter. It grew to something that included the complications that face adults with no diagnosis and the particular nuances that arrest the development and security of females. I’d like to say my disclosure was easy and lovely. It was not. It was fraught with fright, curious glares and lots of talking behind my back. But I fought through this disarray, firm in my belief that an ASD diagnosis can be a precious thing. I’m not naive to its challenges. I’m not happy with everything my ASD brings to my life. I would change a few things about my neurobiological challenges, if I could. But overall, I am who I am and I am not broken or unable, not bad nor a castoff. I’m a member of a community filled with genius originality, wonderful kindness, dependable friendships, and honest voices. I wouldn’t leave my community for any other. Who inspired you? I’m me. Who are you? I road a rollercoaster during my early disclosure and am still on a tilt-a-whirl twenty years later! Coming out now or then wasn't easy. More and more people are writing about sharing their diagnosis. Jen, Margo , and Haley are a few of my brave friends who have been generous enough to share theirs. Do their stories resonate with you? Have you written something? Is there a book or blogs or public sharing in your future or your now? Please Please share a link in the comments. October 8, 2014
Dear Toronto, Canadian Councillor Doug Ford: It has come to my attention that in regard to the Griffin Centre, a home for autistic teens in your district, you were quoted as saying, “My heart goes out to kids with autism. But no one told me they’d be leaving the house.” Should this be a true testimony of your feelings toward autistic individuals, I offer this quote in return, “I wish you, Mr. Ford, never left your house.” I understand you feel your thoughts about autistic individuals have been misrepresented. My autistic peers and I know full well what it feels like to be misrepresented. When someone is described as having autism, a myriad of thoughts swirl in the minds of a populace who are often unclear as to what autism is and isn’t. Luckily, you’ve a great opportunity to learn what autism truly is. Beginning this October 22 – 24, Toronto’s Geneva Centre for Autism will be hosting a convention led by a world class guest list of respected speakers who will fully define autism during their presentations. I will be speaking with one of those brilliant speakers, Dr. Tony Attwood, on the 22. I invite you to come to the Geneva Centre and learn all you can about autism. I guarantee if you do, if you really learn about autism, you will never again even hint at the notion people with autism should be kept behind closed doors, discarded and feared. Respectfully, Liane Holliday-Willey, EdD Autism Advocate, Author and Consultant Liane Holliday-Willey, EdD
Author, Autism Advocate & Consultant It is essential to carefully consider the effects of a divorce and custody arrangements in all cases where minor children are involved, but this is particularly true when there is reason to suspect there is a child with special needs involved. Often debate ensues concerning whether or not a child has a special need. This is particularly true when one of the involved parents does not accept a special needs diagnosis. This is a typical scenario when a mild form of autism is suspected or even confirmed in a child. Children with mild autism are often able to mask their differences and copy others behavior, making them appear neurotypical when in reality, they may be suffering great emotional pain, as well as, neurobiological challenges. These conditions set a child up for failure and put them at risk for bullying, suicide, aggressive behaviors and society dropout. It is imperative children with even a very mild case of autism receive supports and interventions throughout their developmental years, and for as long as necessary, to insure the best possible outcome and quality of life for said child. Entire family dynamics must be considered when deciding with whom the child should be placed with for majority custody arrangements. For example, if there are siblings, extended but involved family members, or even a well-loved animal that will be left behind upon a divorce, the ramifications for the child with autism can be devastating. The effect of change in routines, change in environment, separation from loved ones and trusted pets, separation from what is known in general, creates neurobiological havoc within a person who has a developmental delay; the kind of havoc that is often unable to return from. When deciding what is best for the child when a suspected diagnosis of autism is in question, it is essential a team of professionals including judges, attorneys, developmental psychologists, developmental pediatricians and mediators be involved (Friesen, Giliberti, Katz-Leavy, Osher, & Pullmann, 2003). Never, should one caseworker or specialist be the determining factor in such situations. A team approach is the only way to ascertain the child’s placement largely because the autism diagnosis is so often misunderstood and too easily missed by one expert. A group approach to custody decisions is particularly important should a parent involved in a custody decision be unable or unwilling to provide support services for the child. Resource: Friesen, B. J., Giliberti, M., Katz-Leavy, J., Osher, T., & Pullmann, M. D. (2003). Research in the service of policy change: The custody problem. Journal of Emotional and Behavioral Disorders, 11, 39-47. aspie.com Related Post: Custody and Autism |
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